Visions and catalogs in hand, I begin to build my shopping list. My kids know this, so they drop subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) hints regarding what they would like. I take a more direct approach. I post my want-list on the refrigerator door.

Since very few of you have occasion to see my refrigerator door, I shall make it easy this year by posting my want list in this column as well, just in case you would like to purchase a little something for your favorite columnist (no, I don’t mean Dennis Stacy!). Fear not; there is an item here for every budget, especially if your Christmas shopping budget happens to be the size of Sam Walton's.

Here’s what I want
A web-enabled clothes washer by LG Electronics. This washer works by connecting to a desktop or notebook PC. With the PC, you log into the LG Electronics Web site to access programs geared to everything from washing delicates to pre-washing heavy fabrics encrusted with dirt. At $2499, this enchanting device costs only a little over twice as much as my Maytag Neptune. Sigh.

To match my new clothes washer, I would like LG’s Internet Refrigerator. This fridge not only keeps my Godiva Ice Cream cold, it includes a touch screen and a TV (so I can pull up a stool and down the Godiva right there in front of the fridge — then I won't have to go back for more). If HBO doesn't happen to be broadcasting one of its prime time series, I can listen to music, surf the Net, leave messages for family, send and receive video messages or take digital photos of my grandchildren. The price is right at only $10,000. And since I got my 12-year-old Amana free, that's only $10,000 more.

But I do have a couple of questions: Should I put it in the kitchen or the family room? And how would you get a beer without interrupting the Spurs game?

Of course, if I do get that new fridge, someone with a more modest budget can send an order of Saffron-Pistachio ice cream from Graeter’s (16 pints for $122), one of several dot-coms making a killing selling ice cream over the Internet. (Others are

• www.icecreamsource.com
• www.nutsabouticecream.com
• www.exoticicecream.com
• www.applegatefarm.com
• www.teddrewes.com
• www.whitneysicecream.com

My PalmPilot is still my constant companion, so I'll need some items to keep it running with peak efficiency. How about a memory optimization program? I know just the thing. It's called MemoryHog. Memory Hog is a free utility designed to do just that — hog memory. It can hog both storage and active memory, perfect for testing an application's error handling or how your device would perform once a large database was installed. MemoryHog can be downloaded.

Of course, my Palm is a couple of years old now, so maybe I ought to replace it with something more "with it."

For example, a “live” PDA. One with Wi-Fi or 802.11b. With a handheld thus equipped I can walk into certain airports, restaurants or even homes with my Palm and immediately have a high-speed connection to the Internet. After all the hours I have spent hauling my own phone cable and hardware (and demanding another hotel room because the phone connection didn’t work with my laptop). I’ll just whip out my Palm and chat, change my plane reservation, or maybe order up room service. I may even have a chance at getting a frozen yogurt in the St. Louis airport (if I order ahead.)

To make my live PDA even more useful, I'll want a copy of Roamable Corp’s new software. Designed for the corporate user, the application uses standard e-mail rather than an Internet browser to receive and answer questions. For example, if I were traveling to Minnesota and wanted to know what to pack, I could send an e-mail with the zip code in the subject line. In return, I would receive an e-mail giving the temperature, humidity, wind speed and direction and so forth. This software is designed to help companies and web services reach customers who use wireless devices such as two-way pagers and cell phones equipped for text messaging.

And if IBM could supply my new PDA with a hard drive, I wouldn't need MemoryHog. A hard drive like this has such an enormous capacity that I can keep 8 movies on my Palm Pilot. Not that I will keep 8 movies (well, maybe Gladiator), but it should give me enough room for a bunch of MP3 files that palm devices are now offering ability to play (Sony Clie currently offers 8 minutes’ worth of music.) And of course I’ll have room for pictures of my grandchildren.

For times when I don't want to carry my Palm with me, I'd like a Solitaire game on my cellular phone. I don't know yet if anyone is developing one, but I do know that games on cellular phones have become a growth market of late. The market, unfortunately, is aimed at teenagers rather than old coots like me, so I'm probably out of luck.

So much for personal productivity. Let's think of work productivity. For the past ten years or so, I have insured myself against disaster by carrying backups of all my productivity files, first on floppies, then on tape, then on zip disk. Now I want something besides a wallet full of zip disks to carry my offsite backups from work to home and back again. I know the perfect gift. It's called a DiskOnKey.

Essentially, DiskOnKey is a sizable (8 to 32 mb) hard drive encased in a key fob. It attaches to the USB port of a personal computer where it behaves just like any other hard drive. It gets better. You're not tied to one operating system. DiskOnKey is supported as a plug-and-play device by Windows 2000, Me, CE 3.0, Mac OS 9, and Linux 2.4.0. (Windows 98 requires a driver, available on the company's Web site. (Bummer! So I'll carry a floppy with the drivers in my PDA case.)

While connected to a PC DiskOnKey draws a tiny amount of operating current to run its on-board CPU and warm up the memory. The key fob is about 4 inches long and 3/4 inch across at its widest part. The manufacturer, M-Systems, says DiskOnKey has been fully ruggedized (I can remember that I ordered my first laptop PC without a hard drive because they were at the time considered too fragile to lug around!). Prices for current models range from $40 to $90. They're sold on the Dell website. IBM sells the same device on their website, but calls it a MemoryKey. Read more about the DiskOnKey and see a life-size picture at www.diskonkey.com/

Stock can be a nice gift, if it is tied to a promising company like FiberCycle, eGenera, RLX Technologies, and Zetari, all companies that are developing small sized, power-efficient servers optimized for rapid delivery of Web sites. FiberCycle and RLX Technologies servers run Linux.

To feed my more altruistic motives, I'd like three medals: one each for Hewlett-Packard, IBM, and Gateway for pioneering the PC recycling process. If you’re planning on recycling your 286 for a new machine, Gateway has the best deal, offering a $50 rebate for your old machine when you purchase a new one. You’ll have to pay to have IBM ($50 per box of items) or HP ($13-34) recycle your machine, but since many parts of old PCs are environmentally toxic, it is money well spent.

And, if you not only have an unlimited budget, but unlimited resources as well, I'd like a viable alternative to Windows XP. Although I have great hopes for Linux, and even bought a copy myself, it has a long way to go before the general public or even businesses can embrace it. After reading all the bad press that Microsoft has received over Windows XP, I began to realize why the technology sector is beginning to chafe under its leadership.

Microsoft doesn't put out a bad product. Windows is reasonably easy to use and seems to improve with each release. The Office suite does offer cool new features, although, like the much-maligned "Clippy" the help system paper clip, some features are well intentioned but misguided.

I used to suspect that Microsoft was bent on establishing an Evil Empire, but now I see Microsoft as more of a well-intentioned parent who just doesn't know when to let go. Microsoft doesn't see its public as mature enough to think for itself, so Big Brother Bill is still trying to decide what its users want and need. From Microsoft I would like to ask for a little freedom of choice, please.